When a parent hasn't dealt with their own childhood challenges - abuse, low grades, not being popular, being TOO popular - these will often be the issues that create the biggest stresses in raising their own children. Parents will either try to "strong-arm" the child and force a solution (an impossible task) or they will abdicate authority, afraid that their stance is too weak and they will be ignored anyway.

For example, a mother who was unpopular as a teen may overreact to her dating daughter, thinking that the daughter is too promiscuous. On the other hand, the mother may be so impressed and grateful that her daughter always has boyfriends that the mom may ignore some behavior that is too adult for a teen.

When parents resolve their own issues, they gain clarity, wisdom, and a closer relationship with their kids.