Giving gifts should not teach about love, which ought to be unconditional and not dependent on how much is given or received. This is something our society needs to learn as families have generally speaking become much more materialistic in the last few decades.

Here are some tips that can be implemented immediately. I also recommend that, regardless of the economy, they be consistently integrated into family practice. Remember that each of your actions is a lesson for your children. What do you want them to learn about giving and receiving?

• Limit the number of gifts you give. More is confusing for children, and more gifts is practically a recipe for future disappointment. They will confuse love, self-worth, friendship, happiness, and well-being with the amount or cost of the gifts they get and give.
• Set a gift budget with the members of your family and stick to it. Even if it’s hard. This teaches children about limits and about respecting one’s own and another’s boundaries. It also teaches about mutual trust as boundaries which are broken, even for something as great as a cool present, subtly teaches that that person’s word cannot be trusted.

• Homemade gifts are also great and much more affordable. They teach creativity and ingenuity, they can be more heartfelt than store-bought gifts, and it’s great to teach children to be givers as well as receivers!

• Thank you notes are a must. These teach your children good manners and help them become more social beings.

• Having a common charity to which your whole family donates time and money teaches just about every wonderful lesson there is to learn.

It’s always a “best practice” for parents to be an example for their children in all these areas.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!